Co-dependents Anonymous Nederland - Vlaanderen, CoDA NL

This list of patterns and traits is primarily intended as a tool for self-examination.

Have difficulty recognizing their own feelings.

Downplay, alter, or deny their feelings.

See themselves as completely selfless, devoted to the well-being of others.

Have difficulty making decisions.

Evaluate their thoughts, words, and actions very critically, never finding them good enough.

Feel uncomfortable receiving compliments or gifts.

Have difficulty asking others to accommodate their needs or desires.

Value the appreciation of others for their thoughts, feelings, and behavior more than their own appreciation.

Do not stand up for their values and integrity in order to avoid being angry or rejected by others.

Are overly sensitive to the emotions of others and take on those emotions.

Are extremely loyal and therefore stay in bad relationships and circumstances for too long.

Put the opinions and feelings of others above their own and are afraid to express a different point of view or feeling.

Settle their own interests and hobbies aside to do what others want them to do.

Settle for sex as a replacement for love.

Believe that most others are incapable of taking care of themselves.

Try to force others to think and feel what they should do.

Become angry when others do not accept their offers of help.

Give unsolicited advice.

Shower those they care about with gifts and favors.

Use sex to gain approval and acceptance.

Can only have a relationship if they feel the other person needs them.